Happy New Year!

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

2012 at last... Supposedly this will be the End. The End of the World.

I have chosen, quite intentionally, to spell the word "End" with a capital "E" for various reasons. First and foremost, I think it adds a sense of drama and unnecessary foreboding tension to the notion that the end is nigh and that in 11 months there will be a crashing crescendo of tumbling doom and we will all awake on the other side and wonder what all the fuss was about.

But I also choose to highlight the word "End" because I think, actually, it is rather important. The end of anything only marks the beginning of something else. This year will indeed be the "End" for me, but only the end of one stage of my life as yet. I will (hopefully, eventually, this time next week!) have finished, or "ended" my Dissertation (the one on Cloning if you remember) which has been a bit of a burden since I had to rack my brain for a topic this time 4months ago. Nevertheless, I think I am going to miss it.

This year will also mark the end of my Undergraduate University Days (again, the unnecessary capital letters are for emphasis). Indeed my UUD (as I shall call it) at UEA (this one's official!) will end in only a few months time, and with it I will have to move onwards and upwards with life, and career choices and whatnot and can only leave things down to fate, as I have yet to hear from my university of choice where I have applied to do a PGCE and become a teacher! Yay for further time at uni and avoidance of the outside world! Boo for not yet having heard anything hopeful.

This year (as in March 29th) I will also be "ending" if you wish my childhood. In turning 21 (drum roll please...) I will be OFFICIALLY an adult (ignoring the whole turning 18 shindig) and have to organise a little party etc.and take it all in my stride... Which brings me onto a further concern: Do I know enough people to invite?? I.e. Do I have enough friends? ANY friends? And even if I invite a small handful of my friends from around the globe/England, what is the likelihood that ANY of them will show up?? Even with the added incentive of free buffet food and a potential tab behind the bar?!

Rant over... but you can tell it's on the Brain (no need to explain my capitals anymore, just roll with it my dearest readers...!)

So yeah, this year may be the End, but I'm hopeful. It's the end of my LONGGG dissertation, my official childhood, my university years, my very mild depression of sorts that comes with living so far away from those I love, and here's to the future! Here's to 2012 offering us all hope and whatnot. Here's to getting in to a university to study my PGCE, here's to living closer to my family, and Chris, here's to getting a good grade from UEA and feeling proud of my efforts, and partying with my friends and hopefully seeing Megan again, and generally feeling happier in my skin.

Here's to not feeling as guilt-tripped, yet trying to be a nicer, less judgemental person. Here's to working hard, playing hard, resting hard, praying hard. Here's to not letting people walk all over me, for making my own decisions. For doing things I love, being with people I love the company of, laughing and loving and finding some sort of inner peace! New Years Resolutions to the MAX!

And to you, my imaginary reader, I hope you treasure the gift of life. I hope you can find something each day, each week at a push, that will make you smile. If possible, find something that makes you smile when you are all alone, and then with that smile realise that whatever may be, may be, but that you will be alright, and that ultimately you can survive alone if you have faith. Other people make the days worth living, but to find something to smile over when you are all alone is the greatest gift of all. You have found inner peace.... Something I am still pursuing!

For now, adieu xxxxx